Sixteen thoughts on 16 years of marriage.

1. We've aged, and I still think my wife is the most beautiful woman on the planet Earth.

2. My wife and I are open with our problems we have. We're not trying to present a photoshopped perfect marriage to the people that know us. However, we are both wise enough to settle those differences in private. Never on social media.

3. You don't get married and stop dating. You get married so you can date forever. #NoteToSelf

4. A wise man once said, "Marriage isn't 50/50. It's 100/100."

5. Only humility will get you out of what pride got you into.

6.  Being a husband (along with being a father) is the hardest and most important thing I've ever done. This Art Azurdia quote explains why.

"A husband's life is to be characterized by a predetermined committment to always act in the highest interest and greatest good of his wife.... this love is to be an ongoing performance that could never be interrupted by any imperfection on her part." 

7.  The importance of the phrase "Will you forgive me?" can't be overstated in a marriage.


8.  We live modestly, and as a family of seven try to make dollars stretch. It's crazy that Emily and I got to spend the week leading up to our anniversary in the Bahamas, but that's what happened. How it happened could (and may be) another blog in itself, but we are extremely grateful.

9.  If we are too busy to invest in our marriage, we're too busy.

10. Why is marriage important? Because it shows two people love each other enough to commit to loving a person in the future and not just in the present. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. On August 4, 2001, I made a commitment to love the present and future version of Emily Lassiter. It's a promise that both of us, by God's grace, plan on honoring until we die.

11. We've received so much wise counsel from sitting down with others. There's no way to put a price tag on how valuable sitting with wise people has been for our marriage. We all can benefit from having people invested in seeing us grow in the important areas in life.

12. Evidently, I've had my fair share of second dinner helpings over the last 16 years.

13.  The church has been wrestling through unique marriage questions for the past decade. Pastor Bryan Loritts presents the most balanced, biblical teaching I've heard regarding some of these questions in a four-part series entitled The Gospel and My Gay Neighbor. Definitely worth a listen.

14. It may be another 16 years before we master the art of compromising on dinner plans.

15. We both brought a lot of brokenness and wrong thinking about relationships into our marriage, but God in His grace has seen us through!

16. I  have good friends whose marriages didn't make it. I hurt for them, but they are by no means second-class citizens to Christ. The gospel is that all who put their hope in Christ alone - whether single, married, divorced, widowed, etc. - are fully loved by God and have his smile.

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His second book, Grits and the Grimels, can be purchased here. 

Three Reasons I'm hyped for my first book signings

Dreams do come true!

Since the time I've started writing professionally, I've wanted to write a book. Not only did I write a book, but Moody Publishing actually published my first book,  You're Grounded, in July.   

Now I'm holding a pair of book signings. The first will be at 10 a.m. at Danny Moats' barber shop the morning on Sat., Dec., 28.  The second will be Monday night, Dec. 30,  at the Robert E. Lee High School boys' and girls' double-header basketball game. 

Here are the three reasons why I am so excited about the signings. 

1. Because of where I'm signing the books.

The two locations of the two book signings, the Paul Hatcher Gymnasium and Danny Moats' Barber Shop, have both played pivotal roles in my life.

Moats has been my barber for 20 years, and the shop holds a special place in my heart. Even though there are constant jokes about how lumpy my head is, that barber shop is home to me.

Additionally, being part of the Fighting Leemen basketball fraternity was a big deal to me. The city of Staunton has a rich high school basketball tradition, and I was lucky enough to have a small chapter in that history. 

It's a coming full circle of sorts as I achieve one dream (a book signing) so close to where I spent so many nights chasing other dreams (a state championship and a college basketball scholarship). 

 Additionally,  I still volunteer at the school every day through a ministry called Young Life, and I have a great love for the students at that school. I couldn't choose two more appropriate places. 


2. Because of the subject matter of the book.

 "The Greatest Story Every Told is rarely ever told!" 



It was a very long time before I heard Jesus explained in a way that made sense to me. But once it made sense to me, it was the greatest thing I've ever heard (Watch this powerful 4-minute video above to grasp what I mean).

 Now that someone took the time to explain it to me in a way that made sense, I want to take the time to explain the gospel to others in a way that makes sense.

 3. Just Because ... If you know me well, you know I'm a people person, and I could talk to anybody for hours. And just like my family, anything good that happens in my life, I want to share it. I'm excited that I accomplished one of my life goals, and I hope to get to see all my friends and family at one of the two dates. 

I write these blogs as conversation starters. Becoming an author was one of my dreams. What is one of your dreams?

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (visit her blog here) and a father to five wild, crazy and lovable kids, a former sports journalist for 15 years and a freelance writer. The Cross Promotion Blog gets updated twice a week. Please considering following by clicking "Join This Site" at the bottom of the page. 

The Hook-Up: 4 Books (besides mine) to snatch up on Cyber Monday

Moody Publishing (the company that published my first book) is having a gigantic Cyber Monday sale (click here for online sale). 

If you are looking for a stocking stuffer, here are four other Moody Publishing books I recommend in addition to mine: 

1. DNA: Foundations of the Faith by D.A. Horton


Advance13 - D.A. Horton from Advance The Church on Vimeo.

D.A. is the director of Reach Life Ministries, a ministry that works in conjunction with the Reach Records label.  He's incredibly gifted in taking theological truth and making it applicable, especially to Christ-followers who grew up in hip-hop culture. I've met him and his wife on occasion. In his teachings (which I podcast regularly), he's extremely passionate, open and vulnerable. Keep up with his ministry and you will grow.

2. The Cross-Shaped Gospel by Bryan Loritts



Without any exaggeration, I think I have listened to every sermon this man has ever preached. (You can listen here).  I love his ministry. He's a great preacher, and he's a master of illustration and storytelling. He always uses those gifts to lift up Jesus. Watch the five-minute snippet above and you will see exactly what I mean.

3. The Good Life by Trip Lee



Most people know Trip Lee as a theologically sound rapper. His ministry is so much more than music. He preaches, too, and recently he wrote a book, The Good Life, that has the same title as his last album. The book takes a look at how people, including those in hip-hop, would define "the good life" and then addresses it from a gospel perspective.

4: Kai'Ro - The Journey of an Urban Pilgrim 

Kai'Ro is a brilliantly written hip-hop remix of John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress. Our family has used this book and its sequel, Kai'Ro Returns, for family devotionals for the past few months. 

It's one of the best fiction books I've read addressing the challenges of being a disciple of Jesus Christ in an urban environment. (The other would be Phanatik's City of Allegory, which you can find here.)

As a reader, I'm growing more convinced that fiction writing does play an important role in our Christian journey. As a dad of five, it's been fun watching my kids embrace parts one and two of this book.

5: You're Grounded by me, Chris Lassiter





You're Grounded is an introduction to the gospel and the Christian life aimed at the hip-hop influenced reader. It's perfect to pick up and read, as a gift for a friend, or to study in a group. 

I'd love to hear back from you. Which book on this list interests you?  What other Cyber Monday deals are you excited about? 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog about forgiveness here), and a dad to five crazy-but-oh-so-lovable kids. Chris is a Young Life leader in his hometown of Staunton, Va. Please consider following The Cross Promotion Blog, which gets updated twice a week.

Okaly Dokaly: 3 Ways Christians shouldn't be like Ned Flanders

There is always some truth in fiction.

The creators of the hit cartoon sitcom The Simpsons did a masterful job of showing what non-Christian America thinks of evangelical Christianity by creating an evangelical neighbor to the Simpson family. His name is Ned Flanders. (As a side note, this is precisely why we need more Christians in the arts and entertainment industry.)



And boy is this Flanders character a piece of work. 

His sweater is out-of-date. His mustache is terrible. He speaks in Flanderisms, replacing simple sayings like O.K. with "Okaly-Dokaly."

Flanders is portrayed as extremely annoying,  beyond optimistic, scared of science, out of touch with reality and having attained a level of holiness most of us could only hope to reach. During one Sunday morning church service, he confesses before the congregation that he has too much civic pride in his community.

How then, as Christians, do we avoid an unattractive Ned-Flanders religiosity?  

Here are three ways: 

• Don't confuse fear with holiness.  We can take one or two approaches here. The baby-out-with-the-bath water approach means that Christians retreat from everything that "threatens" our faith, namely science and culture.  

Ned opts for this approach. In one episode, Homer writes a paper denying the existence of God. When Flanders can't combat Homer's answer with reason, he lights the paper on fire. 

The other approach is to learn to navigate the real world with a Biblical worldview.  We can then really engage our friends and neighbors over their doubts, questions and presuppositions about Christianity.  All in the context of a real friendship. That works a lot better than burying our head in the sand.

•   Don't replace your culture with a religious subculture. Flanders is intentionally created to show that every part of him - from his vocabulary to his fashion choices - don't work in society at large. His only culture is the subculture that he's created, even down to his own Flanderisms.

This makes being a good gospel witness tough for poor old Ned. Rather than attend a barbecue at the Flanders' home, Homer Simpson elects to hide on his couch and watch the Canadian Football League Draft. 
    
When Jesus incarnated, he didn't just become human. He was Jewish. Jesus entered the world in a certain culture, and so did we. I grew up in hip-hop culture. When I became a Christian, I didn't all of a sudden have a desire to become like Ned Flanders. Christ didn't come to change my culture - except where the culture doesn't align with His Word - He came to change my heart.

• Live in reality. Our world is broken. I worked in a newspaper for years. Six days out of seven you could replace the lead news story title with the words "Our World is Broken" and it would make perfect sense. Christians and non-Christians both grapple with the fact that our world is indeed broken.  

Poor Ned comes across as a guy whose life is perfect inside of his evangelical Christian bubble. The real problem is that he seems to engage everyone he comes across as if everything is "Okaly-Dokaly" in their world, too. Ned comes across as the type of person who would give you a pat on the back and a Hallmark card quote without a hint of true empathy. 

The opposite of the Flanders approach is to show that we, just like our neighbors, also have deep scars from living in a broken world. However, we can also show them the hope we have in a fallen world because of God's activity in the world through the person and work of Jesus Christ. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on the religion of Ned Flanders. Agree? Disagree? What other points would you add to the list? 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her gripping blog about forgiveness here) and a father to five wonderful kids. He's a Young Life leader in his hometown on Staunton, VA. He's written for VIBE, HipHopDx.com, Rapzilla.com, The News Leader, Young Life Relationships and other publications. Moody Publishers recently published his first book, You're Grounded, which you can read about here. 

This may change the way you think about church!

Can a two-minute video change the way you think about church?

I sure hope so.

I love this brilliantly simple video entitled The Missional Church ... Simple. Please take two minutes of your day and watch it. The video compares two ways that churches can set out to impact their communities. The ideas posed are worth wrestling through. 

Here are three reasons I tend to favor with the missional approach. 

• Genuine relationships are more important than programs. I grew up in a predominately black Baptist church. To quote Christian hip-hop artist LeCrae, "I was a drug baby. Mama always drug me to church." I knew how to "do church." I knew when to clap. Part of my closet was dedicated to "Sunday clothes." And I knew that fifth Sunday meant fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, greens,  peanuts, multi-colored mints and red soda punch. 

But imagine if you were unfamiliar with "church culture." Or didn't own "church clothes."   Imagine how uncomfortable church would be if you had no clue what was going on in the meeting. That's why I think it's more effective for us to go out in our communities, build genuine friendships, live out the gospel, share the gospel and explain the purpose of the church first rather than asking people to jump through all of those hoops initially.

•  Increasingly, more and more people outside of the Christian faith don't have a close Christian friend. 
  
   

Inside of the church, we have to guard against a musk oxen defense approach. When anything that is not a musk ox approaches a herd of musk oxen, they form an unpenetrable circle to keep the outsiders out. As Christians, we can do the same. 

I read one study that within three years of becoming a Christian, almost all Christians have no friends that aren't Christian. Unknowingly, we become just like musk oxen.

• Christianity isn't a spectator sport. The God of the Bible is a God on a rescue mission setting right what is wrong in the world through the person and work of Jesus Christ. To be a Christ-follower means to be on mission, too. That's not just for the pastor. The biblical picture isn't for the pastor to "reach" everyone in the community. It's for the pastor to equip you and me to both live out and tell the story of God's work in the world. 

I write blogs in hope that they will be conversation starters. I would love to hear your thoughts on how churches engage communities.

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her powerful blog about forgiveness here), and a father to five great kids. He's written for The News Leader, VIBE, HipHopDX.com, Young Life Relationships and many other publications. Moody Publishers recently published his first book, You're Grounded, which you can read about here.