Four Multicultural Churches Have Offered Me Hope

I have a fair share of conversations about racial reconciliation in the church. 

One practical step I always offer to churches, families, individuals, etc. is to visit a church that by God's grace has a ethnically diverse local expression of the body. (Note: I understand sitting in pews together doesn't always mean doing life together.) 

Couldn't find the pictures where I was smiling ... 

While much has been made recently about the racial church divide – with Sunday at 11 a.m. still being the most segregated hour in America – some churches are actually making progress on that front.

As a Christian, I want to see that. As a husband and a father, I want my family to see that.

And so we travel.

From time to time, we’ll take road trips.

The destination is churches on the east coast with a diverse leadership and congregation.

Here are four churches we have visited this far.

1.      CROWN AND JOY PRESBYTERIAN, RICHMOND, VA.

We started with Crown and Joy for a number of reasons. Richmond is the closest to my hometown in Staunton, VA, and we are part of the PCA denomination. We would commend anyone go there. 

The congregation is truly diverse. They preach the Word, and on the two times we visited the congregation stayed after and ate a meal together. It really helped us to feel welcomed to be asked to stay and eat afterwards.

2.      Anacostia River Church, Washignton, D.C.

When my family asked me what I wanted to do for Father’s Day, I told them visit Anacostia River Church, pastored by Thabiti Anyabwile. His sermon at the 2009 Worship God Conferenceabout the Church of Worship forever changed the way I relate to the local church.

Not only did we get to see a beautifully diverse church body, many members of the church were memorizing parts of Colossians together and Anyabwile preached a powerful expository message the day we were there. My friend Jeff attended there before being sent out by that church as part of a plant. He told us around the corner to get some good pizza, and then we made a day of D.C.

3.      Hampton Roads Fellowship, Hampton VA. 

We decided to do our back-to-school shopping at the new outlet stores in Norfolk, and attend church at HamptonRoads Fellowship. It was great. The worship team and the pastoral team were diverse. 

The Sunday we attended, a young man who they were training for leadership in the church preached, and he did the best expository unpacking of Philemon that I had ever heard. I left with my heart full and my gaze on Christ.

Also, something the pastor said that stuck with me in regards to evangelism: “Every person I meet could be a new brother or sister in Christ (paraphrased).”

4.      Crossover Church, Tampa, Florida.

A quick back story is needed here. Crossover’s pastor, Tommy Kyllonen, had a huge impact me in my early walk as a believer. I had been wanting to get down for FlavorFest, but when my sister actually moved to Tampa, I knew I had to check it out.

Also, the week we visited was Easter. I’m not sure what was the norm and what was special for Resurrection Sunday. Here’s what I can tell you. Crossover is incredibly diverse. They do a phenomenal job engaging visitors, and they do an incredible job incorporating arts in a Christ-glorifying way.

As much as I enjoyed the experience there – my kids are willing to move to Tampa – my favorite part was hearing them talk about how they planned to intentionally love their city. That was amazing.

A Final Thought 

I have a personal rule that I never try to miss my home church two weeks in a row, and I don’t let my work or leisure allow me to miss my own church twice in a month. I want to make sure I have a healthy commitment level to my brothers and sisters in Christ in my own congregation. 

With that being said, it’s important for me to experience settings that give us a foretaste of heaven, worshiping beside people of all nationalities. And I want my family to have a vision for that, too, especially since my kids are biracial.

I hope it encourages you, too. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications in 2013. You can order the book here.  His first kids' book, Grits & the Grimels, is out now. 

Reconsidering No Religious Affiliation

Recent studies suggest more and more Americans, classified as the "Nones," are claiming no religious affiliation.

These aren't just numbers. Each number represents a person. 

Some of them are people I know and love deeply. They grew up in church, but now wouldn't identify with any organized religion. We've had great, hours-long discussions on this topic. 

As a Christian, one thing I've taken away from these conversations is that we too often aren't engaging people at the point where they are wrestling through these issues. That's why I was so encouraged over the last month. 

My church Holy Cross PCA recently did a four-part series examining how the gospel speaks to the main points of contention of people with no religious affiliation.  

All four messages are well worth the listen. 

1. Which God? This is a sermon examining the Biblical God versus characteristics assumed to be true about the God of the Bible. 

2. Literally? Troubling passages? Scientific improbabilities?  Impossibly high sexual ethics? Do you expect us to take the Bible literally? 

3. Facts and Faith. Do you really believe Jesus rose from the dead? 

4.  Either, neither or both?  The problem of evil. Either God is:

• all powerful but not all good 
• all good but not all powerful
• not all good or all powerful  

Or ... is there another option? 

These are such important topics. If you take me up on listening to any of these messages, I'll treat you to a cup of coffee so that we can talk about it. 

P.S. If it's helpful to share your story about why you left the church,  please e-mail both chrislassiter540@gmail.com and office@holycrosspca.org. We'd be interested in hearing your stories. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here.  His latest book, Grits and the Grimels, can be purchased here. 

Four Things Christians Can Learn From Baseball's Integration

One Christian journalist referred to it as “The only Oreo crumb in the cup of milk.”

The Oreo crumb phrase is in reference to being the only black person in a room full of white people. And, during my time in church and in campus ministry, this has been a regular occurrence for me. 

On the one hand, it's not that big of deal. What we have in common - the cross of Christ - is so much greater than our skin color that distinguishes us. 

On the other hand, it can be awkward. 

And confusing. 

And uncomfortable. 

Sort of like how 1947 was uncomfortable for Jackie Robinson. 

On April 15, 1947, Robinson broke the color barrier in Major League Baseball,  in large part due to a visionary named Branch Rickey, the Brooklyn Dodgers general manager who helped pave the way for Robinson.

When the MLB honors Robinson on April 15 this year, roughly 10 percent of the players in the league will be black. The sport is now so integrated that the Negro Baseball League ceases to exist.

But how did they get there?

And what can churches and campus ministries learn from baseball's integration? 

I can think of at least four things. 



1. Branch Rickey thought things could change. When no one could imagine one united major league baseball system, Rickey could. I love Rickey's quote. “I may not be able to do something about racism in every field, but I can do something about it baseball.”

We may be not be able to stop all racial division in the body of Christ, but perhaps like Rickey we can change it in our particular sphere of influence. 

2.      Branch Rickey invested in multicultural friendships that were deep enough to shape his convictions. One can only wonder how much of Rickey’s convictions came from befriending his one-time teammate Charles Follis, the first black professional football player. Rickey's front row seat to Follis' sub-human treatment created empathy and sympathy in him. 

Here's a tough question. Do we have multicultural friendships so deeply rooted that they help shape our life convictions? If not, can we really expect the dynamics of the room to change? And what are we willing to do if those answers are no?

3. Branch Rickey went scouting the Negro Baseball Leagues.  The Boston Red Sox brought in Jackie Robinson first as a politically correct gesture,  but Rickey actually went to the Negro League games in order to find a baseball player that could help integrate baseball. 

Rickey had a team of scouts that watched the Negro League players. In other words, he entered another culture and then invited someone from another culture (Robinson) to come integrate baseball.  

He invested time, money, talent scouts and resources into it, and he was willing to go where it was culturally uncomfortable. If we're not willing to make make similar sacrifices, we're really just paying the idea of a gospel-centered diversity a lip service. 

4.  Rickey was willing to upset the status quo. Jackie Robinson was as vilified in 1947 as he is idolized in 2016. The Negro Leagues didn't like losing Robinson as a player, and so no one was on board with it initially. Rickey knew this would happen. And he knew it would take a player with both Robinson's talent and vision to pioneer the way for other blacks.

Let's be honest. When areas diversify, it creates a whole new set of problems. You have to think through a whole set of cultural questions that you don’t have to think through in homogeneous settings. 

The question then becomes: is it worth it? Is having integrated churches and campus ministries more God-glorifying, Christ-exalting and more consistent with "on earth as it is in Heaven?"

In 2016, we'd find the idea of segregated baseball repulsive. I'm hoping we will find the idea of the church being segregated equally repulsive.  That goes for campus ministries, too.

Do we really want to see multicultural expressions of the body of Christ in our churches and campus ministries?  Would we really love to see it "on earth as it is heaven?" Or are we content with "on earth as it was in the Jim Crow South?" 

As the world remembers Jackie Robinson, let's let his example remind the body of Christ that what has been isn't what always has to be. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications in 2013. You can order the book here.  His first kids' book, Grits & the Grimels, comes out this spring. 

An open letter to churches in Staunton, Waynesboro and Augusta County

Dear local churches in the Valley, 

For the past two years, much of the narrative in America has centered around race. From Trayvon Martin to Sandra Bland, it's been a constant theme in our news media. With the rest of the nation talking about it, I figured we should, too. 

First, please know I am with you on this. I love the church. I am passionate about Christ and His bride.  I've given my life to serve her with my time, talents and treasures. I agree with pastor Art Azurdia when he says, "Any quarrel I have with the local church must be a lover's quarrel." (P.S. The entire sermon, embedded below, is worth the listen) 



We've inherited a problem. Most pastors under the age of 60 more than likely attended integrated schools. Yet, our churches remain largely segregated. The message it sends to both our Savior and a watching world is unmistakable. 

Our color trumps our cross. 

To any person in our community who has trusted Christ alone for reconciliation to God, this should be hard to read. But here's the problem with inherited problems. It's easy to not feel the responsibility for fixing it. 

We can say things like: 

"It was like this when I got here."
"There's no way to undo what's done." 

Here's why this is problematic. As our culture tries to figure out race relations, we can't lead the way with the gospel.  

Thus, the dilemma. To Christ, this is grievous. But to us, the divide has grown comfortable. Certainly more comfortable than the thought of trying to integrate. Even for those who recognize this as a huge problem, the problem can seem so insurmountable that we just throw up our hands and don't do anything. 

As a father of five, I'm pleading with my generation to begin at least taking baby steps toward reconciliation, and not put this all on the shoulders of my kids and their generation. 

What steps can we take? 

Here are seven thoughts.  

1. We can repent. Individually and corporately, we can acknowledge that we haven't pushed against the idea of "white church" and "black church," when scripture would only support the idea of Christ's church. 

2. Read scripture. Let's be honest. It would be hard to imagine Paul condoning "white church" and "black church" if he didn't give a  "Jew church" and "Gentile church" option to the church in Rome.   

3. Pray together. We all have our theological and doctrinal distinctives. However, one thing we should be able to do together is to call out to our God to heal our church together in this area. 

4. Read books by authors with hearts for reconciliation. Oneness Embraced by Dr. Tony Evans might be a great starting place. (Watch the last two minutes of this video if you don't have time for the whole thing!) 




5. Lay down our preferences at the foot of the cross. This could be a whole book in itself. The principle is don't let our pragmatics - "how would we do music?" - outweigh our theology. What does a racially divided church say about our gospel? 

6. Have conversations cross culturally.  If all of us today were thrown into a congregation that was 50 percent black and 50 percent white, we'd have some emotions to work through. And that's OK. 

My guess is one of the greatest fears would be the idea of racially reconciled churches producing more interracial marriages, and other situations that are similar. These are real emotions that people have and need to work through. As believers, it seems like the gospel would have us engage in hard conversations and extend grace rather than to remain separated and avoid the awkwardness. 

Side note: If your cross cultural friendships can only hold surface conversations, but can't discuss what happened in Ferguson and South Carolina, you have every right to question the depth of that friendship. We need friendships that can discuss and even disagree freely without having to worry about jeopardizing the friendship. 

7. Plant new churches with gospel-centered racial reconciliation in mind. I am encouraged to see several churches in our community planting new churches in hopes to reach more people. Reversing course on centuries of racial division in existing churches is difficult but doable by God's grace, but churches that begin with the idea of a multicultural staff and gospel-centered reconciliation won't have anything to undo. 

Two quick notes: First, if there is any way I can serve Bible-believing, gospel-proclaiming churches in our community with this topic, please reach out to me (lassiterfam7@gmail.com). I don't want to just blog about it and not roll my sleeves up. 

Second, I hope this can help us all  to have healthy, Christ-honoring dialogue. I'm inviting all discussion that has the end goal of more Christ-likeness for the church . I'm asking that anyone who just wants to argue race to kindly do that some place else. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here. 

So ... When are We going to start Talking about Sex

"Sex is the cure. Sex is the problem." - one person's journal entry. 

Haven't blogged in a while. Other writing assignments have had me busy. However, two things have had me thinking about sex a lot lately (not that guys need any help in thinking about sex a lot). 

The first is obviously everyone is sharing their opinion on the book-turned-movie 50 Shades of Grey.  The second, coincidentally, is a book I just finished reading called God Loves Sex. 

The book is an exposition of the Song of Songs in the Bible. The plot is wrapped around a fictional Bible study group. It's co-written by counselor Dan B. Allender and Old Testament scholar Tremper Longman III.  

By way of application, the book has some points on masturbation and boundaries in dating that I would think need further explanation, but it's a book worth wrestling through. 

One of the main points in the book is the graphically erotic nature of the poetry found in the Song of Songs. When the man speak of his lover's "garden," he is not speaking of vegetables. And she speaks of his "member," she's not encouraging him to join a club. Yep, the book is that graphic. 

Here's where I'll put all my cards on the table. I'm not a church-basher. Never will be. I agree with pastor Art Azurdia when he said "Any problem I have with the church must be a lovers' quarrel." 

But here's the disconnect. How can the Bible be so graphic about a subject - a very important subject - and we as the church be so silent about it?  

One of the arguments of the book is that we've created a false holiness that doesn't factor in from the time we are born that we are sexual beings.  As Christians, we are sexual beings and God's holy people. And, as the book argues, this is not an either-or scenario. We are both. To discount either is to error biblically. 

Here are three devastating effects of the church's silence on the beauty and greatness of sex. 

1. God goes from the creator of sexuality to the killjoy of sexuality. If the Bible is to be believed - and I believe it - then God is the author of sex. God is a great gift-giver. But our silence about God's delight in creating us sexual beings has opened the door for Him to be portrayed as the enemy of sexual fulfillment. 

Many people reject the God of the Bible. That's sad to me. However, what is even sadder is when people think they are rejecting the God of the Bible based on false notions of the God of the Bible. One of these notions- that God is the killjoy and not the creator of sex - is the most frequent that I hear. 

2. Everyone keeps their sexual struggles in the dark. And we ALL have sexual struggles. I've heard some of my friends say they felt liberated sexually when they left the church. I understand part of this means that they were free to pursue sexuality on their own terms, but part of it also means that they were finally free to talk and dialogue and struggle. 

This freedom to talk and dialogue and struggle should happen inside of the church. I'm saddened by the thought of how much hurt has occurred by people feeling like the church isn't a safe place to discuss sexuality. I would love to hear my friends says they felt liberated sexually inside the church. 

3. Our faith doesn't seem to address real life issues. Think of the irony. Sex is God's idea, yet Christians are often pictured as prudish, embarrassed by sex or restricted sexually. If anyone should be leading discussions on sex - and enjoying sex - it should be the people who say their God created it. 

Many churches are already getting this right. My prayer is to see an increasing number join them. We need churches that preach the gospel consistently, that Christ alone is our only hope of salvation. Our merit before God is not based on anything else, including our sexual purity. 

And we need those churches, by way of application, to be safe places for people to wrestle through what it means to be both a sexual being and part of God's holy people. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on the whole topic of sexuality and the church or sexuality as depicted in 50 Shades of Grey. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here. 

My Five Favorite Blog Posts from 2014

As we say good-bye to 2014, I'm taking one final look back at my favorite blogs of the past year.

If you've been keeping up with me - or if you are just peeping this for the first time - here's a flashback to my five favorite blogs of 2014. If you click on the blog title, the blog will open up. 

1. Our podcast needs a name ... This was my favorite, because it's still a huge dream of mine to have a faith and culture podcast. My main man Jeremy Hartman and I did a pilot episode, and maybe one day we can find time to record consistently and make it a reality. 

 

 2. Ferguson Aftermath - Why Two Cops Came to My House. If 2014 is remembered for anything, it will be the year of great racial tension which revealed that we are not in post racial America just yet. So here's a blog post about people from my church willing to sit down and have hard conversations, as well as the explanation of why two cops showed up at my house. 

3.  That's an Interesting Way to Cook Chicken. One day, my wife and I may write a book on interracial marriage. It's a joy and a challenge. This blog talks about how the gospel and our different cultures shape both our experience in the kitchen and in the marriage. 

4. Fake Jordans, Real Life. As a Young Life Leader at my former high school Robert E. Lee in Staunton, I work with a group of kids that are expert detectives on how to spot fake Jordans. The great irony is that many times I wish they had the same clarity in seeing the difference between a real and counterfeit life. 

5. A Letter to My Friends Who Have Left the Church... Or have never started it. As the kid who left the church, I can sympathize with those that leave. This my story of why I went back, as well as an offer for you to come back, too.  







If you're thinking of including church in your 2015 plans, come with me on January 4th. Our church, Holy Cross PCA, has a friends Sunday this week, and afterward I'm taking friends who come out for pizza and picking up the tab. 

I would love to know which of these five was your favorite and why it was your favorite. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here. 

This Tuesday is .... A Time To Listen

A little over a week ago, I wrote a piece  in the News Leader.  

It was a follow-up to a blog post that I had written before the non-indictments of officers Darren Wilson and Daniel Pantaleo. One of the things I urged in my blog was that progress in situations like these involve a great deal of listening. 

On Tuesday, December 16 (which is tomorrow at the time I am writing this) a multicultural group of evangelical leaders will be leading and live-streaming an event called A Time To Speak. (Read the press release of the event here.) 

The event - which is being held at the same Memphis hotel where Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated - features John Piper, Bryan Loritts, Matt Chandler, Eric Mason and many other men and women that I respect greatly. 

I'm really excited that evangelical leaders are praying and moving to action. In my wildest dreams, I picture a church in my generation that begins to live into the racial unity that the scriptures say has already been achieved at the cross.

And, as my wife Emily Lassiter  and I continue to hope to be part of the solution, we would gladly open our home to anyone interested in catching the re-broadcast of the event at 9 p.m. eastern. 

Just let us know. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here. 

Ferguson Aftermath: Why a Pair of Cops Showed up at my House

Two weeks ago,  a pair of cops showed up at my house. 

I invited them. 

My wife had given an idea to our pastor Rick Gilmartin. And our pastor had asked a culturally diverse group of us to meet and discuss our feelings about the Ferguson shooting. That group included a pair of police officers. 

Our pastor offered to host the meeting at the Holy Cross office, but I thought a meeting at my house - in a part of the city where some folks struggle to trust law enforcement - would be a more appropriate setting. 

So we met. And we talked. And, most importantly, we listened. 

We all shared our perspectives about the case and the case's coverage, and how we each felt that the gospel should speak to reconciliation. Because we had started the hard work of building cross cultural friendships, we could all say what was on our mind knowing that we could leave the meeting with our friendships in tact. 



My church's main focus isn't racism. Thankfully, it's the gospel. Come to church with me, and each and every week the focus is going to be the gospel of Jesus Christ. It's my favorite thing about my church. However, one of the evidences of the gospel applied is we see the cross of Christ factoring into the way we view race relations. 

For at least one day, the steep, narrow steps leading up to my home represented steps toward racial reconciliation in the church. In the midst of a vivid reminder that highlighted just how much racial tension still exists in our country, I was able to be part of the solution, albeit a very small one.

I write these blogs as conversation starters. What's one small step you'd be willing to take to be part of the solution to race relations?

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here. 

If Rap Star Ja Rule Came to Your Church ... 3 Important Things to Know

 Have you ever wondered how people outside the church perceive the church? 

You must watch this five-minute interview with Grammy-nominated, multi-platinum rap star Ja Rule.


 
Ja Rule talking about "I'm In Love With A Church Girl" from HillsongNYC on Vimeo.

Also an actor, Ja Rule appeared The Fast and the Furious and The Cookout among other movies. The rapper, whose mother was a Jehovah's witness, talks about going on a church tour to promote the new movie I'm in Love With a Church Girl.



As Ja Rule toured churches, he found himself having the same experience fairly regularly. He describes it like this:

"Once I started going back into the church with the movie and stuff, I just didn't feel like I was welcomed. I go into the church, and they say, 'Come as you are.' But do they really mean it?" 

However, one church struck him differently.

"I go into a church right here in the city in Urban Plaza," Ja Rule said during a recent interview. "It's called Hillsong. They have a pastor called Carl Lentz. From the moment I walked in the church, I said OK, 'this is what they mean by "Come as you are.'"

Ja Rule then went on to explain what made Hillsong different. Now, I don't know what churches Ja Rule visited or much about Hillsong. I do know that these three factors will be key in determining how churches relate to those outside the church.

• The church proclaims the true gospel. It always goes back to the cross. Jesus Christ, the God-man, willingly left heaven, became man, lived perfectly, and then died a substitutionary death. It's not about if you're good or bad. It's about if you've been restored to God through the cross. The gospel changes hearts of people from all cultures, including hip-hop.  

• The church can navigate culture. The church that can reach people from different cultures successfully eliminates the cultural barriers between people and the clear presentation of the gospel message. In other words, the church navigates the cultural issues in such a way that a visitor can focus on the gospel rather than how different he or she is from the congregation. If people come to your church and are more concerned with navigating "church culture" than being restored to God through the gospel, it may be time to to some serious study on the gospel and culture.

• The church is on mission. This church isn't surprised when someone like Ja Rule enters. In fact, they've been praying and preparing for those outside of the church to come investigate. The pastor's sermon considers this. There will be points in every sermon where the pastor specifically speaks to visitors as well as church members. Members in the church are also prepared to engage vistors.

After my wife showed me this video and I started working on this blog, a pastor that i deeply respect, Thabiti Anyabwile, also wrote a blog on the topic. You can read his blog here. 

I write these blogs in hopes that they will be conversation starters. I would love to back from you. If you're a hip-hopper, what has your church experience been? If you're an active member in a church, what has been your experience engaging different cultures?

Chris Lassiter is a husband to Emily, father of five, and a Young Life leader in his hometown of Staunton, VA. He has written for the The News Leader, HipHopDX.com, Rapzilla.com, Young Life Relationships and other publications. Recently, Moody Publishers published his first book, You're Grounded. You can read about it here. 

Why men don't go to church... Wrestling through Manhood Restored

A certain social media app has put me in quite a bind.

Sometimes one of my friends will post something, and I like what they post. However, to express my appreciation, I have to double-tap my phone until it creates a heart.

The only problem is I'm a dude. I usually don't express myself with hearts, especially to other dudes. 

Not only am I a dude, but I am a (former) athlete. When I did something noteworthy during athletic competition - which was rare but it occasionally happened - the response from my dudes was usually a celebratory push, a chest bump, or a hard swat on the butt.

Never anything with hearts.

That's a little tongue-and-cheek, but it's also a point that Dr. Eric Mason addresses in his book, Manhood Restored (read about the book here). Many things inside the walls of the church are designed to attract women, which at the same time often makes it unattractive to men.

The real problem, Mason states, is that many times those of us that are inside the church are unaware of these things.

Read Mason's quote.

"Christianity's primary delivery system, the local church, is perfectly designed to reach women and older folks. But this church system does little to stir the masculine heart, so men will find it dull and irrelevant. The more masculine the man, the more likely he is to dislike church."(1)

The problem becomes heightened in urban settings, where other religions that have an emphasis on black nationalism appear masculine while Christianity is often characterized as feminine.

  

 

  Just to be clear, the Epiphany Fellowship pastor is by no means a church basher. In fact, the rest of the Restored Church chapter helps readers walk through both practical and theological ministry helps for creating churches that reach men. Manhood Restored is worth the purchase for this chapter alone, but it also covers a myriad of other topics such as family, sexuality and fatherlessness from a sound gospel perspective. (Watch that one-minute video trailer. It's great!) 

I write blogs like this one on Manhood Restored in hopes that the topics will facilitate discussion. That said, I would love to hear your thoughts on why men don't go to church.

 

note: I purchased this book myself. I do not know Dr. Eric Mason personally and I was not asked by anyone to review this book. 

Chris Lassiter is a husband to Emily, father to five great kids, and a Young Life leader in his hometown of Staunton, VA. He has written for The News Leader, Rapzilla.com, HipHopDx.com, and many other publications. Recently, Moody Publishers published his first book, You're Grounded, which you can read about here. 

 1. Dr. Eric Mason, Manhood Restored, (Nashville: B&H Publishing) 2013, p. 163

Where would the Interracial Cheerios Family go to church?

Over the summer, the Cheerios cereal brand created quite a national stir with its "controversial" advertising campaign.

A Middle-class black father. A Middle-class white mother. And a beautiful bircacial daughter. In short, a family that looked just like mine. An interracial family.

After a conversation where the mom relays facts about how Cheerios could help "dad" have a healthy heart - and presumably live a nice, long life - the daughter runs out of the room. When "dad" awakens from his nap on the couch, he is literally covered in Cheerios. It's a heartwarming commerical.

But not to everyone.

The commercial received such backlash that the St. Louis Dispatch reported that General Mills  disabled comments to the video on YouTube.

Here's the reality. America has made progress in race relations.

There was an era where not only could a commercial like this not have aired, but the mere thought of such a relationship could have forced the man in the commercial to become the sad lyric of a Billie Holliday Strange Fruit song (hear the song here). 

But, obviously, the commercial reaction reminds us that we are still not in post-racial America. 

Because I think about church dynamics a lot, I recently asked myself this question: What advice would I give the Cheerios family about church? 

I grew in a black Baptist church. Would that be a good fit?  I've been at a non-denominational church that is mostly white. Would that work better?  I've been a church intern. How about that one?  As a person who has worked in a parachurch ministry, I've visited bunches of churches. How about those?

I've had numerous conversations with interracial families in our communities who have given up finding a church home. It's sad.  Even though it's difficult, the Bible is clear that being part of a local fellowship is vitally important to the life of Christians.

If the Cheerios family were to ask me for advice, here are five things I would tell them.

• Find a healthy church first. In our family's journey, we would only consider membership in a church that would be healthy as the New Testament defines health. If a church had the diversity we sought for but wasn't healthy along those lines, it wouldn't be an option. (Read more about marks of a healthy church here.)

• Once we have narrowed the discussion down to healthy churches, one key factor in the search would be a diverse pastoral staff. To us, that would show that a church was willing to put its money where its theology is. The old saying "Like pulpit, like pew" is true in this sense. Churches are likely to be as diverse as the church's leadership. My favorite example of this diverse shared leadership approach is a church called Fellowship Memphis (visit Web site here.)

•  Consider the "wet cement" principle. One of the reasons churches plant new churches is to reach a diversity of people within in the city. Pastor and author Tim Keller talks about the idea of becoming part of a group that has yet to fully establish its identity as wet cement. If you can be part of a church in its "wet cement phase," maybe you can help the church become diverse.

•  Don't over-assimilate! Neither spouse should feel like they have be something they are not to be part of the church. As Christians, we're called to prefer other people, so they will be times of preferring others (You're gonna eat some food you don't like at some point!). What this doesn't mean, however,  is completely denying who you are, the culture you come from, or who God made you to be.

• Expect some messy situations. I would tell the Cheerios family there will be some awkward conversations about their daughter's hair. There will be assumptions made. Political discussions can get strange. Press on anyways. Don't be angry race man or woman, but don't hide your true feelings when things bother you.  Be willing to be part of the solution. Walk through situations with grace. The cross is strong enough to break down cultural barriers. And your family's courage may help other families to give church another chance, too.

Chris Lassiter is the husband to Emily and father to Telijah, Hannah, Isaiah, Keziah and Saraiah. He works as a Young Life leader in his hometown of Staunton, VA. He has written for The News Leader, VIBE, Rapzilla.com, HipHopDX.com, Young Life Relationships, S.O.U.L. Mag and a list of other magazines. Moody Publications recently published his first book You're Grounded, which you can read about here.

This may change the way you think about church!

Can a two-minute video change the way you think about church?

I sure hope so.

I love this brilliantly simple video entitled The Missional Church ... Simple. Please take two minutes of your day and watch it. The video compares two ways that churches can set out to impact their communities. The ideas posed are worth wrestling through. 

Here are three reasons I tend to favor with the missional approach. 

• Genuine relationships are more important than programs. I grew up in a predominately black Baptist church. To quote Christian hip-hop artist LeCrae, "I was a drug baby. Mama always drug me to church." I knew how to "do church." I knew when to clap. Part of my closet was dedicated to "Sunday clothes." And I knew that fifth Sunday meant fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, greens,  peanuts, multi-colored mints and red soda punch. 

But imagine if you were unfamiliar with "church culture." Or didn't own "church clothes."   Imagine how uncomfortable church would be if you had no clue what was going on in the meeting. That's why I think it's more effective for us to go out in our communities, build genuine friendships, live out the gospel, share the gospel and explain the purpose of the church first rather than asking people to jump through all of those hoops initially.

•  Increasingly, more and more people outside of the Christian faith don't have a close Christian friend. 
  
   

Inside of the church, we have to guard against a musk oxen defense approach. When anything that is not a musk ox approaches a herd of musk oxen, they form an unpenetrable circle to keep the outsiders out. As Christians, we can do the same. 

I read one study that within three years of becoming a Christian, almost all Christians have no friends that aren't Christian. Unknowingly, we become just like musk oxen.

• Christianity isn't a spectator sport. The God of the Bible is a God on a rescue mission setting right what is wrong in the world through the person and work of Jesus Christ. To be a Christ-follower means to be on mission, too. That's not just for the pastor. The biblical picture isn't for the pastor to "reach" everyone in the community. It's for the pastor to equip you and me to both live out and tell the story of God's work in the world. 

I write blogs in hope that they will be conversation starters. I would love to hear your thoughts on how churches engage communities.

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her powerful blog about forgiveness here), and a father to five great kids. He's written for The News Leader, VIBE, HipHopDX.com, Young Life Relationships and many other publications. Moody Publishers recently published his first book, You're Grounded, which you can read about here.