As we say good-bye to 2014, I'm taking one final look back at my favorite blogs of the past year.
If you've been keeping up with me - or if you are just peeping this for the first time - here's a flashback to my five favorite blogs of 2014. If you click on the blog title, the blog will open up.
1. Our podcast needs a name ... This was my favorite, because it's still a huge dream of mine to have a faith and culture podcast. My main man Jeremy Hartman and I did a pilot episode, and maybe one day we can find time to record consistently and make it a reality.
2. Ferguson Aftermath - Why Two Cops Came to My House. If 2014 is remembered for anything, it will be the year of great racial tension which revealed that we are not in post racial America just yet. So here's a blog post about people from my church willing to sit down and have hard conversations, as well as the explanation of why two cops showed up at my house.
3. That's an Interesting Way to Cook Chicken. One day, my wife and I may write a book on interracial marriage. It's a joy and a challenge. This blog talks about how the gospel and our different cultures shape both our experience in the kitchen and in the marriage.
4. Fake Jordans, Real Life. As a Young Life Leader at my former high school Robert E. Lee in Staunton, I work with a group of kids that are expert detectives on how to spot fake Jordans. The great irony is that many times I wish they had the same clarity in seeing the difference between a real and counterfeit life.
If you're thinking of including church in your 2015 plans, come with me on January 4th. Our church, Holy Cross PCA, has a friends Sunday this week, and afterward I'm taking friends who come out for pizza and picking up the tab. I would love to know which of these five was your favorite and why it was your favorite. Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here.
We usually noticed our cultural differences the most right about 6 p.m. each night. That's dinner time. The scenario would usually play out like this: My wife would bake - not fry - some chicken. Before I would even taste it, I would go back into the kitchen, pull out some salt and some sauces, and try to turn whatever my wife made into soul food. (I have four friends who all told me they did the exact same thing, but don't worry I won't put y'all on blast here!) Needless to say, this did not play well in the Lassiter home. As time goes by, the gospel continues to inform both of our views on race. We've learned to compromise more. My wife has learned to make Jamaican jerk chicken and incorporate that into the menu often. I've learned to lay down some of my racial pride and admit that every meal doesn't have to be made "the black people way" in order to be right. Oh, how far we have come! Thirteen years ago, I would have never imagined myself in this spot. I grew up in a middle-class black family. My parents are still married. And my view of the black family unit was healthy. I tell people all the time our family was sort of like the Cosby Show. I didn't have anything against interracial marriage. I just never considered it. I certainly never thought it would be me. I went into it kind of blindly. I'm realizing to many people, however, issues of race such as interracial marriage are a very big deal. And I think I know why. A lot of racism has to do with fear. And a lot of that fear has to do with the idea of different races mixing in marriage. It's a controversial subject. Consider, for instance:
the white parents who fear - and possibly rightly so - that their white daughter won't be accepted in either the black community or the white community
Black women who understandably feel hurt by the idea of black men having the "white woman trophy wife" complex
Grandparents on both sides who grew up in times when racism was much more overt
And this isn't just a black-white issue. It would be very easy to simply label everyone against the idea of interracial marriage a racist, but that's far too simplistic.
As you can see from three examples - of which I could easily add 20 more - this can be a very nuanced and complex issue in which we all have different factors that have informed our view.
Of course, very few people would admit it since being politically correct is so important, but many of us would have to wrestle through the idea of our loved ones marrying someone from a different culture.
I've never really set out to study much on the topic, but recently I came across two resources on the topic of interracial marriage.
On our trip to the Bahamas, I read two great books by Dr. John Piper. The first was called Risk is Right. The second book, which addressed interracial marriage, was called Bloodlines. Here's a quote: "In Christ our Oneness is profound and transforms racial and social differences from barriers to blessings... Ethnic and social differences cease to be obstacles to deep, personal intimate fellowship, including marriage." p. 210. Right before I left my Bahamas trip, I heard a sermon from Fellowship Memphis pastor Bryan Loritts - one of my favorite gospel communicators - on the topic of interracial marriage. It is part of a 7-part marriage series. You can listen to that sermon here. He actually begins addressing interracial marriage at the 23:31 mark of the sermon. I think everyone should listen! I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with interracial relationships. One word of caution. If you don't agree, please feel free to do so, but please do so thoughtfully! Not one has to agree, but we can all agree to be thoughtful toward one another as we discuss issues of race. Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here.
Wow, 2013 is almost over. I can look back over the past year and agree with Tale of Two Cities author Charles Dickens that is was indeed "the best of times and the worst of times." On the bright side, I had my first book You're Grounded released in July, and I started this blog in the fall.
If you're new to the blog - or you just have seen a post here or there - here are the top five I would encourage you to read from 2013.
1. Is Kanye West a Christian? Yeezus showed up on the Kris Jenner Show talking about a WWJD bracelet and Christianity. You can read my take here.
2. Why I'm Not Looking at The Front Door. A blog on why my wife Emily (read her blog here) and I stick it out through the ups and down of marriage. You can read it here.
3. The Interracial Cheerios family and church. There was a huge uproar when Cheerios used an interracial family to advertise its cereal. If this fictitious family was to ask me about finding a church as a interracial family, here's what I'd tell them. You can read that blog here.
4. Hope for the Hurting. This year, really from start to bottom, has probably been the most pain-filled and difficult year of my life for any number of reasons. This story about an amazing tree always encourages me that our pain isn't wasted. You can read that blog here.
5. How Nike's Blake Griffin Commercial reminds me of the gospel. I love this commercial from the music sample to the layout. The theme of the commercial is also amazing consistently with the main story of the Bible. Read how right here.
There's plenty more on the blog, such as my thoughts on what 2Pac, the movie Friday and the show Preachers of L.A. have to do with one another and a great guest blog from my wife on forgiveness. I also threw in a few things I learned from going through the publishing process. One blog that just barely missed the cut was a blog I had about what if rap star Ja Rule was to walk into your church?
I hope you enjoy it, and I would love your feedback on anything you read.
Happy New Year's!
Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily, and a father of five wild and crazy kids. He has written for The News Leader, VIBE, Rapzilla.com, Young Life Relationships and many other publications. His first book was published by Moody Publishing in July. (Read about it here.) The Cross Promotion Blog gets updated twice a week. Please consider joining this site by subscribing by email or following the link at the bottom that reads "Join This Site."
Over the summer, the Cheerios cereal brand created quite a national stir with its "controversial" advertising campaign.
A Middle-class black father. A Middle-class white mother. And a beautiful bircacial daughter. In short, a family that looked just like mine. An interracial family.
After a conversation where the mom relays facts about how Cheerios could help "dad" have a healthy heart - and presumably live a nice, long life - the daughter runs out of the room. When "dad" awakens from his nap on the couch, he is literally covered in Cheerios. It's a heartwarming commerical.
But not to everyone.
The commercial received such backlash that the St. Louis Dispatch reported that General Mills disabled comments to the video on YouTube. Here's the reality. America has made progress in race relations. There was an era where not only could a commercial like this not have aired, but the mere thought of such a relationship could have forced the man in the commercial to become the sad lyric of a Billie Holliday Strange Fruit song (hear the song here).
But, obviously, the commercial reaction reminds us that we are still not in post-racial America.
Because I think about church dynamics a lot, I recently asked myself this question: What advice would I give the Cheerios family about church? I grew in a black Baptist church. Would that be a good fit? I've been at a non-denominational church that is mostly white. Would that work better? I've been a church intern. How about that one? As a person who has worked in a parachurch ministry, I've visited bunches of churches. How about those?
I've had numerous conversations with interracial families in our communities who have given up finding a church home. It's sad. Even though it's difficult, the Bible is clear that being part of a local fellowship is vitally important to the life of Christians.
If the Cheerios family were to ask me for advice, here are five things I would tell them.
Find a healthy church first. In our family's journey, we would only consider membership in a church that would be healthy as the New Testament defines health. If a church had the diversity we sought for but wasn't healthy along those lines, it wouldn't be an option. (Read more about marks of a healthy church here.)
Once we have narrowed the discussion down to healthy churches, one key factor in the search would be a diverse pastoral staff. To us, that would show that a church was willing to put its money where its theology is. The old saying "Like pulpit, like pew" is true in this sense. Churches are likely to be as diverse as the church's leadership. My favorite example of this diverse shared leadership approach is a church called Fellowship Memphis (visit Web site here.)
Consider the "wet cement" principle. One of the reasons churches plant new churches is to reach a diversity of people within in the city. Pastor and author Tim Keller talks about the idea of becoming part of a group that has yet to fully establish its identity as wet cement. If you can be part of a church in its "wet cement phase," maybe you can help the church become diverse.
Don't over-assimilate! Neither spouse should feel like they have be something they are not to be part of the church. As Christians, we're called to prefer other people, so they will be times of preferring others (You're gonna eat some food you don't like at some point!). What this doesn't mean, however, is completely denying who you are, the culture you come from, or who God made you to be.
Expect some messy situations. I would tell the Cheerios family there will be some awkward conversations about their daughter's hair. There will be assumptions made. Political discussions can get strange. Press on anyways. Don't be angry race man or woman, but don't hide your true feelings when things bother you. Be willing to be part of the solution. Walk through situations with grace. The cross is strong enough to break down cultural barriers. And your family's courage may help other families to give church another chance, too.
Chris Lassiter is the husband to Emily and father to Telijah, Hannah, Isaiah, Keziah and Saraiah. He works as a Young Life leader in his hometown of Staunton, VA. He has written for The News Leader, VIBE, Rapzilla.com, HipHopDX.com, Young Life Relationships, S.O.U.L. Mag and a list of other magazines. Moody Publications recently published his first book You're Grounded, which you can read about here.
