The LeBron "Decision" We Must All Make (Part 1 of 2)

"Can I succeed in my hometown?"

This is a question we know LeBron James has wrestled through at least twice, as evidenced in his journey from Cleveland to Miami and ultimately back to Cleveland. 

In fact, the most criticism the NBA's most famous and physically gifted player has faced was for the "I'm taking my talents to South Beach" comment and everything that ensued afterward.

That was a mess! 

However, most has been forgiven after 'Bron returned to help the Cavs try for a championship that has eluded the city since the legendary Jim Brown was in the backfield for the Cleveland Browns. 

I can sort of relate to LeBron. 

Not with the  fame, finances, championships or basketball skills. (Maybe the hairline.)

But with the question. 

Can I succeed in my hometown? 

Like LeBron, I love my hometown. I'm as thankful to have grown up in Staunton as he is to have grown up in Akron. Like LeBron, I have dozens of ideas to leave my city better than I found it. And, just like Cleveland isn't exactly known for winning championships, my city isn't known for a lot of the things I want to achieve. 

This is what brought LeBron - as well as me and countless others - to the point of decision. 

"Should I be a pioneer in my hometown? Or should I just move wherever I need to move to make sure the dream gets achieved?" 

Although I once had dreams of sports achievements, my passion now is more theological. I want to be part of a gospel-preaching, multicultural church. I want to work with urban kids through a faith-based initiative. I want to write a few more books, and I want to create a sports, faith and culture podcast. 

And ...  I want to feed my kids and pay the mortgage. 

Do I have to "take my talents to South Beach?" 

Or do I try to pioneer those things here? 

Ordinarily, this is the part of the blog where you give five points, but this is something I'm still figuring out myself.  In addition to praying about it a lot, I've also been helped greatly by a book, What Color is Your Parachute, given to me by a friend at church. 

The book helps you ask yourself a bunch of critical questions which enable you to determine how you really define success. The book also helps you outline a map to achieve career goals. 

I write these blogs as conversation-starters. I would love to know how you've wrestled through moving or staying to find success. I also want to know what you've read that has been helpful to you in figuring out your career path. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here. 

An open letter to churches in Staunton, Waynesboro and Augusta County

Dear local churches in the Valley, 

For the past two years, much of the narrative in America has centered around race. From Trayvon Martin to Sandra Bland, it's been a constant theme in our news media. With the rest of the nation talking about it, I figured we should, too. 

First, please know I am with you on this. I love the church. I am passionate about Christ and His bride.  I've given my life to serve her with my time, talents and treasures. I agree with pastor Art Azurdia when he says, "Any quarrel I have with the local church must be a lover's quarrel." (P.S. The entire sermon, embedded below, is worth the listen) 



We've inherited a problem. Most pastors under the age of 60 more than likely attended integrated schools. Yet, our churches remain largely segregated. The message it sends to both our Savior and a watching world is unmistakable. 

Our color trumps our cross. 

To any person in our community who has trusted Christ alone for reconciliation to God, this should be hard to read. But here's the problem with inherited problems. It's easy to not feel the responsibility for fixing it. 

We can say things like: 

"It was like this when I got here."
"There's no way to undo what's done." 

Here's why this is problematic. As our culture tries to figure out race relations, we can't lead the way with the gospel.  

Thus, the dilemma. To Christ, this is grievous. But to us, the divide has grown comfortable. Certainly more comfortable than the thought of trying to integrate. Even for those who recognize this as a huge problem, the problem can seem so insurmountable that we just throw up our hands and don't do anything. 

As a father of five, I'm pleading with my generation to begin at least taking baby steps toward reconciliation, and not put this all on the shoulders of my kids and their generation. 

What steps can we take? 

Here are seven thoughts.  

1. We can repent. Individually and corporately, we can acknowledge that we haven't pushed against the idea of "white church" and "black church," when scripture would only support the idea of Christ's church. 

2. Read scripture. Let's be honest. It would be hard to imagine Paul condoning "white church" and "black church" if he didn't give a  "Jew church" and "Gentile church" option to the church in Rome.   

3. Pray together. We all have our theological and doctrinal distinctives. However, one thing we should be able to do together is to call out to our God to heal our church together in this area. 

4. Read books by authors with hearts for reconciliation. Oneness Embraced by Dr. Tony Evans might be a great starting place. (Watch the last two minutes of this video if you don't have time for the whole thing!) 




5. Lay down our preferences at the foot of the cross. This could be a whole book in itself. The principle is don't let our pragmatics - "how would we do music?" - outweigh our theology. What does a racially divided church say about our gospel? 

6. Have conversations cross culturally.  If all of us today were thrown into a congregation that was 50 percent black and 50 percent white, we'd have some emotions to work through. And that's OK. 

My guess is one of the greatest fears would be the idea of racially reconciled churches producing more interracial marriages, and other situations that are similar. These are real emotions that people have and need to work through. As believers, it seems like the gospel would have us engage in hard conversations and extend grace rather than to remain separated and avoid the awkwardness. 

Side note: If your cross cultural friendships can only hold surface conversations, but can't discuss what happened in Ferguson and South Carolina, you have every right to question the depth of that friendship. We need friendships that can discuss and even disagree freely without having to worry about jeopardizing the friendship. 

7. Plant new churches with gospel-centered racial reconciliation in mind. I am encouraged to see several churches in our community planting new churches in hopes to reach more people. Reversing course on centuries of racial division in existing churches is difficult but doable by God's grace, but churches that begin with the idea of a multicultural staff and gospel-centered reconciliation won't have anything to undo. 

Two quick notes: First, if there is any way I can serve Bible-believing, gospel-proclaiming churches in our community with this topic, please reach out to me (lassiterfam7@gmail.com). I don't want to just blog about it and not roll my sleeves up. 

Second, I hope this can help us all  to have healthy, Christ-honoring dialogue. I'm inviting all discussion that has the end goal of more Christ-likeness for the church . I'm asking that anyone who just wants to argue race to kindly do that some place else. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here. 

So ... When are We going to start Talking about Sex

"Sex is the cure. Sex is the problem." - one person's journal entry. 

Haven't blogged in a while. Other writing assignments have had me busy. However, two things have had me thinking about sex a lot lately (not that guys need any help in thinking about sex a lot). 

The first is obviously everyone is sharing their opinion on the book-turned-movie 50 Shades of Grey.  The second, coincidentally, is a book I just finished reading called God Loves Sex. 

The book is an exposition of the Song of Songs in the Bible. The plot is wrapped around a fictional Bible study group. It's co-written by counselor Dan B. Allender and Old Testament scholar Tremper Longman III.  

By way of application, the book has some points on masturbation and boundaries in dating that I would think need further explanation, but it's a book worth wrestling through. 

One of the main points in the book is the graphically erotic nature of the poetry found in the Song of Songs. When the man speak of his lover's "garden," he is not speaking of vegetables. And she speaks of his "member," she's not encouraging him to join a club. Yep, the book is that graphic. 

Here's where I'll put all my cards on the table. I'm not a church-basher. Never will be. I agree with pastor Art Azurdia when he said "Any problem I have with the church must be a lovers' quarrel." 

But here's the disconnect. How can the Bible be so graphic about a subject - a very important subject - and we as the church be so silent about it?  

One of the arguments of the book is that we've created a false holiness that doesn't factor in from the time we are born that we are sexual beings.  As Christians, we are sexual beings and God's holy people. And, as the book argues, this is not an either-or scenario. We are both. To discount either is to error biblically. 

Here are three devastating effects of the church's silence on the beauty and greatness of sex. 

1. God goes from the creator of sexuality to the killjoy of sexuality. If the Bible is to be believed - and I believe it - then God is the author of sex. God is a great gift-giver. But our silence about God's delight in creating us sexual beings has opened the door for Him to be portrayed as the enemy of sexual fulfillment. 

Many people reject the God of the Bible. That's sad to me. However, what is even sadder is when people think they are rejecting the God of the Bible based on false notions of the God of the Bible. One of these notions- that God is the killjoy and not the creator of sex - is the most frequent that I hear. 

2. Everyone keeps their sexual struggles in the dark. And we ALL have sexual struggles. I've heard some of my friends say they felt liberated sexually when they left the church. I understand part of this means that they were free to pursue sexuality on their own terms, but part of it also means that they were finally free to talk and dialogue and struggle. 

This freedom to talk and dialogue and struggle should happen inside of the church. I'm saddened by the thought of how much hurt has occurred by people feeling like the church isn't a safe place to discuss sexuality. I would love to hear my friends says they felt liberated sexually inside the church. 

3. Our faith doesn't seem to address real life issues. Think of the irony. Sex is God's idea, yet Christians are often pictured as prudish, embarrassed by sex or restricted sexually. If anyone should be leading discussions on sex - and enjoying sex - it should be the people who say their God created it. 

Many churches are already getting this right. My prayer is to see an increasing number join them. We need churches that preach the gospel consistently, that Christ alone is our only hope of salvation. Our merit before God is not based on anything else, including our sexual purity. 

And we need those churches, by way of application, to be safe places for people to wrestle through what it means to be both a sexual being and part of God's holy people. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on the whole topic of sexuality and the church or sexuality as depicted in 50 Shades of Grey. 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here. 

Welcome back (again)? Four Thoughts on Ma$e's Return to Hip-Hop

Ma$e is back in the news again. 

The latest on the rapper-turned-pastor-turned-back-to-rapper is that Betha is leaving his pastor position for a full-fledged return to hip-hop.  

Full disclosure: I grew up a fan of Ma$e. 

Not just pop culture icon Ma$e that was P. Diddy's sidekick at the height of the Bad Boy era, but Murder Mase that rapped with Cam'Ron and Big L in a group called Children of the Corn. Back before he was even famous, I was a fan of his work on the mixtape scene coming out of New York.  

I watched Ma$e's story with great interest because I became a Christian at the same time that Ma$e left hip-hop for the first time to pursue his own spiritual journey.  I even went to a college in Baltimore to hear Ma$e speak at the Hell is Not Full Tour. 

 

With Ma$e's most recent return to hip-hop, here are four thoughts that I have. 


1. I hope the response of the church is to bend their knees in prayer for Ma$e and not just shake their fingers in judgment. 

Some people find it hard to have sympathy for millionaires. I don't. Unlike me, Ma$e's entire spiritual journey has been open to public scrutiny. 

Ma$e watched  label mate and close friend die Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." die violently. Ma$e recently went through a divorce.  Reportedly, he also lost the custody case for his kids. 

Regardless of what you think of Ma$e as a pastor, theologian or Christian  - and I am sure Ma$e and I would have some sharp theological differences - he is still a person made in the image of God still in need of the mercy of Christ. 

2. I wish Ma$e's path would have been more like No Malice and Jin. 

Ma$e isn't the only recognizable name to abandon his platform in hip-hop to follow Christ. Malice from the Clipse and former Ruff Ryder artist Jin also land in that category. There is a difference, however. In Ma$e's book, Revelations: There's Light after the Lime,  he spoke of distancing himself from hip-hop because of all of the evils associated with the genre. 

Jin and Malice (who is now No Malice) have taken a different approach: to engage hip-hop culture for Christ from the inside. Although Jin and No Malice are bold in their proclamation of being Christ-followers, they still rap and identify with hip-hop culture as a whole. They still make quality hip-hop music, but they have changed their content to be consistent with their beliefs and their worldview. 

In return, they have found a new audience of fans of hip-hop music who share their beliefs. The rappers and that fan base mutually encourage one another. I wish Ma$e would have have been a bigger part of that community, too. 


3. Church leadership is for the spiritually mature. 

In the New Testament, the apostle Paul lays out a list of church leadership qualifications in letters written to young church leaders named Timothy and Titus. 

The standard is super high. And, as the New Testament states, it is not a calling for those new to the Christian faith. The faithfulness and maturity that Christian leadership requires must be cooked on a crock pot on low, not in a frying pan on high. 

I don't know Ma$e personally. Never met him. In my own situation, I've had wise men of God look to see if I was ready to take steps into Christian leadership. I don't know if Ma$e had these type of men in his life or not, but I just sincerely hope that he wasn't rushed into the pulpit to leverage his influence without his maturity ever having been inspected. That would be unfair to both Ma$e and any congregation he led. 

 4. How Christians approach the arts (in this case hip-hop) really matters. 

There is one line of Christian thought that says Christ wants to be glorified in everything, so Christians should be active in the mainstream film, music and television industries. And not just active, but leading the way. 

There is another opposite line of thought that says that these things are so evil that Christians should retreat. Rather than influencing, this line of reasoning goes, we will only be influenced. 

At the first reading of Ma$e's book a decade ago, it seemed the people influencing him may have subscribed to the latter form of Christian thinking. It was almost like there was this line in the sand: choose between hip-hop or Jesus. 

To me, the dream scenario would have been for a group of godly men to entrust the truths of the gospel to Ma$e,  preparing him to go back into hip-hop with an understanding of how to use his mainstream hip-hop platform for Christ. Not by saying Jesus in every sentence, but by addressing the same subject matter as other rappers from a distinctly Christian viewpoint. 

Then the church could have cheered his return to hip-hop as a missionary. 

And not mourned his return as a musician. 

I write these blogs as conversation-starters. I would love to hear thoughts! What do you think about Ma$e's return for hip-hop? 

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily, and father of five kids. He has written articles for VIBE, The News Leader, Rapzilla.com, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and the Young Life Relationships Magazine. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications. You can read about it and purchase it here. 

Why men don't go to church... Wrestling through Manhood Restored

A certain social media app has put me in quite a bind.

Sometimes one of my friends will post something, and I like what they post. However, to express my appreciation, I have to double-tap my phone until it creates a heart.

The only problem is I'm a dude. I usually don't express myself with hearts, especially to other dudes. 

Not only am I a dude, but I am a (former) athlete. When I did something noteworthy during athletic competition - which was rare but it occasionally happened - the response from my dudes was usually a celebratory push, a chest bump, or a hard swat on the butt.

Never anything with hearts.

That's a little tongue-and-cheek, but it's also a point that Dr. Eric Mason addresses in his book, Manhood Restored (read about the book here). Many things inside the walls of the church are designed to attract women, which at the same time often makes it unattractive to men.

The real problem, Mason states, is that many times those of us that are inside the church are unaware of these things.

Read Mason's quote.

"Christianity's primary delivery system, the local church, is perfectly designed to reach women and older folks. But this church system does little to stir the masculine heart, so men will find it dull and irrelevant. The more masculine the man, the more likely he is to dislike church."(1)

The problem becomes heightened in urban settings, where other religions that have an emphasis on black nationalism appear masculine while Christianity is often characterized as feminine.

  

 

  Just to be clear, the Epiphany Fellowship pastor is by no means a church basher. In fact, the rest of the Restored Church chapter helps readers walk through both practical and theological ministry helps for creating churches that reach men. Manhood Restored is worth the purchase for this chapter alone, but it also covers a myriad of other topics such as family, sexuality and fatherlessness from a sound gospel perspective. (Watch that one-minute video trailer. It's great!) 

I write blogs like this one on Manhood Restored in hopes that the topics will facilitate discussion. That said, I would love to hear your thoughts on why men don't go to church.

 

note: I purchased this book myself. I do not know Dr. Eric Mason personally and I was not asked by anyone to review this book. 

Chris Lassiter is a husband to Emily, father to five great kids, and a Young Life leader in his hometown of Staunton, VA. He has written for The News Leader, Rapzilla.com, HipHopDx.com, and many other publications. Recently, Moody Publishers published his first book, You're Grounded, which you can read about here. 

 1. Dr. Eric Mason, Manhood Restored, (Nashville: B&H Publishing) 2013, p. 163

Where would the Interracial Cheerios Family go to church?

Over the summer, the Cheerios cereal brand created quite a national stir with its "controversial" advertising campaign.

A Middle-class black father. A Middle-class white mother. And a beautiful bircacial daughter. In short, a family that looked just like mine. An interracial family.

After a conversation where the mom relays facts about how Cheerios could help "dad" have a healthy heart - and presumably live a nice, long life - the daughter runs out of the room. When "dad" awakens from his nap on the couch, he is literally covered in Cheerios. It's a heartwarming commerical.

But not to everyone.

The commercial received such backlash that the St. Louis Dispatch reported that General Mills  disabled comments to the video on YouTube.

Here's the reality. America has made progress in race relations.

There was an era where not only could a commercial like this not have aired, but the mere thought of such a relationship could have forced the man in the commercial to become the sad lyric of a Billie Holliday Strange Fruit song (hear the song here). 

But, obviously, the commercial reaction reminds us that we are still not in post-racial America. 

Because I think about church dynamics a lot, I recently asked myself this question: What advice would I give the Cheerios family about church? 

I grew in a black Baptist church. Would that be a good fit?  I've been at a non-denominational church that is mostly white. Would that work better?  I've been a church intern. How about that one?  As a person who has worked in a parachurch ministry, I've visited bunches of churches. How about those?

I've had numerous conversations with interracial families in our communities who have given up finding a church home. It's sad.  Even though it's difficult, the Bible is clear that being part of a local fellowship is vitally important to the life of Christians.

If the Cheerios family were to ask me for advice, here are five things I would tell them.

• Find a healthy church first. In our family's journey, we would only consider membership in a church that would be healthy as the New Testament defines health. If a church had the diversity we sought for but wasn't healthy along those lines, it wouldn't be an option. (Read more about marks of a healthy church here.)

• Once we have narrowed the discussion down to healthy churches, one key factor in the search would be a diverse pastoral staff. To us, that would show that a church was willing to put its money where its theology is. The old saying "Like pulpit, like pew" is true in this sense. Churches are likely to be as diverse as the church's leadership. My favorite example of this diverse shared leadership approach is a church called Fellowship Memphis (visit Web site here.)

•  Consider the "wet cement" principle. One of the reasons churches plant new churches is to reach a diversity of people within in the city. Pastor and author Tim Keller talks about the idea of becoming part of a group that has yet to fully establish its identity as wet cement. If you can be part of a church in its "wet cement phase," maybe you can help the church become diverse.

•  Don't over-assimilate! Neither spouse should feel like they have be something they are not to be part of the church. As Christians, we're called to prefer other people, so they will be times of preferring others (You're gonna eat some food you don't like at some point!). What this doesn't mean, however,  is completely denying who you are, the culture you come from, or who God made you to be.

• Expect some messy situations. I would tell the Cheerios family there will be some awkward conversations about their daughter's hair. There will be assumptions made. Political discussions can get strange. Press on anyways. Don't be angry race man or woman, but don't hide your true feelings when things bother you.  Be willing to be part of the solution. Walk through situations with grace. The cross is strong enough to break down cultural barriers. And your family's courage may help other families to give church another chance, too.

Chris Lassiter is the husband to Emily and father to Telijah, Hannah, Isaiah, Keziah and Saraiah. He works as a Young Life leader in his hometown of Staunton, VA. He has written for The News Leader, VIBE, Rapzilla.com, HipHopDX.com, Young Life Relationships, S.O.U.L. Mag and a list of other magazines. Moody Publications recently published his first book You're Grounded, which you can read about here.

This may change the way you think about church!

Can a two-minute video change the way you think about church?

I sure hope so.

I love this brilliantly simple video entitled The Missional Church ... Simple. Please take two minutes of your day and watch it. The video compares two ways that churches can set out to impact their communities. The ideas posed are worth wrestling through. 

Here are three reasons I tend to favor with the missional approach. 

• Genuine relationships are more important than programs. I grew up in a predominately black Baptist church. To quote Christian hip-hop artist LeCrae, "I was a drug baby. Mama always drug me to church." I knew how to "do church." I knew when to clap. Part of my closet was dedicated to "Sunday clothes." And I knew that fifth Sunday meant fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, greens,  peanuts, multi-colored mints and red soda punch. 

But imagine if you were unfamiliar with "church culture." Or didn't own "church clothes."   Imagine how uncomfortable church would be if you had no clue what was going on in the meeting. That's why I think it's more effective for us to go out in our communities, build genuine friendships, live out the gospel, share the gospel and explain the purpose of the church first rather than asking people to jump through all of those hoops initially.

•  Increasingly, more and more people outside of the Christian faith don't have a close Christian friend. 
  
   

Inside of the church, we have to guard against a musk oxen defense approach. When anything that is not a musk ox approaches a herd of musk oxen, they form an unpenetrable circle to keep the outsiders out. As Christians, we can do the same. 

I read one study that within three years of becoming a Christian, almost all Christians have no friends that aren't Christian. Unknowingly, we become just like musk oxen.

• Christianity isn't a spectator sport. The God of the Bible is a God on a rescue mission setting right what is wrong in the world through the person and work of Jesus Christ. To be a Christ-follower means to be on mission, too. That's not just for the pastor. The biblical picture isn't for the pastor to "reach" everyone in the community. It's for the pastor to equip you and me to both live out and tell the story of God's work in the world. 

I write blogs in hope that they will be conversation starters. I would love to hear your thoughts on how churches engage communities.

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her powerful blog about forgiveness here), and a father to five great kids. He's written for The News Leader, VIBE, HipHopDX.com, Young Life Relationships and many other publications. Moody Publishers recently published his first book, You're Grounded, which you can read about here. 

"The Oreo Crumb in a Cup of Milk" 3 reasons you should read Reconciliation Blues

Rule Number one: No Country music in the Ghetto Blaster. 

 

The Ghetto Blaster, of course, was the name for the boombox in the boys' basketball locker room. Even though the black students were the minority in the school, we were the majority on the team. 

I remember one day one of my white teammates trying to replace our "Get Hyped" music - which was always hip-hop - with a country or bluegrass type of song called The Devil Went Down to Georgia. Needless to say, the song was quickly stopped. Our song, Time To Flow, was re-inserted. And I never thought about it again. 

But maybe I should have.

Here's what happened that day. One culture was validated. Another culture was invalidated. It was clear. There wasn't room for cultural diversity in our minds. We were the dominant culture. Everyone outside of our culture needed to assimilate. 

Listen to what we like only.

Fast forward some decades, and my life has been radically transformed by the gospel of Jesus Christ. For the past decade, I've studied in depth what the church needs to look like in my community so that no one feels like my teammate when he learned that country music wasn't allowed in the locker room.  

I want my friends to see the gospel and the church as beautiful, but I know my friends will rightly reject anything that tries to make them assimilate culturally.  (You can read a blog I wrote for Rapzilla.com about the church and the hip-hop generation here.)  

A friend in ministry told me I had to read Ed Gilbreath's book Reconciliation Blues: A Black Evangelical's Inside View of White Christianity. Now I'm telling you to read it, too,  for the following three reasons. 

1. It's well written. Instead of a bunch of church statistics, Gilbreath makes his points through the power of story. Readers are allowed to go with him on his journey. It's comical at times, sad at others. And well worth the read.

2. You might be in the minority. My spiritual journey has led me to be the "Oreo crumb in the cup of milk," or the only black guy in the room, on many occasions. It's freeing to know others before have had the struggle of trying to navigate this.

3. You might be in the majority. Whenever I'm the "Oreo Crumb," the cultural issues and differences are easy to spot. In the locker room, when I was part of the majority, the problem becomes much more difficult to spot. This book will also help increase racial awareness for the majority culture as well.
  
If your hope is that the church doesn't wait until heaven to integrate, a good first step is picking up this book, which you can find here. 

 P.S. If my teammate were ever to read this, I just want you to know that I listened to The Devil Went Down to Georgia today. It wasn't that bad. 

Question: Is your church diverse?  If so, what has helped your church achieve diversity? If not, what have been the barriers to diversity?

Note: I purchased this book on my own. I've never met Edward Gilbreath. I did not get paid anything to endorse this book.

Chris Lassiter is a husband and father of five, radically transformed by the gospel of grace and hoping to see a gospel-proclaiming, racially diverse, missional church in his hometown of Staunton, VA, some day. He was writtten for The News Leader, VIBE, Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com and many other places. He is the author of You're Grounded, which you can find here.

Belief or Baby Mama Drama?

To abort or to keep?

That scenario was the backdrop facing hip-hop icons Common and Lauryn Hill in the thought-provoking 1990s hip-hop classic, "Retrospect for Life."

A smooth, soulful song, "Retrospect for Life" does a masterful job portraying the options couples face in an unexpected pregnancy. The lingering question throughout the song is whether the characters portrayed by Common and Lauryn Hill can work together for the benefit of a child.

Or, as Common asks, will it be a relationship filled with baby mama drama?

And while the topic of "baby mama drama" is a source of fascination for at least one talk show and its viewers, it's actually as old as the book of Genesis.

Nothing's new under the sun.

In Genesis, God reveals himself to a man named Abraham as a covenant-keeping God.  Genesis 15 ends with God making a covenant with Abraham and promising Him a great number of offspring.

When Abraham and Sarah don't see the promised fulfilled quick enough, they did exactly what you and I tend to do. They tried to make God's promise to them come to pass in their own power (more on that in just a second).  Genesis 16 begins with Sarah telling her husband to get her servant Hagar pregnant.

Uhm, yeah. Not a great idea.

Not only did this move not fulfill God's promise, but it created a whole lot of baby mama drama. Sarah starts to resent Hagar, and Hagar seems to feel superior to Sarah after bearing Abraham a child. When God does bless Sarah with a child, there's also beef between Abraham's two sons. 

Yep. Drama. 

Just like baby mama drama isn't new, God's people doubting God's word isn't new either. In fact, mankind's rebellion against God is a direct result of the first couple not taking God at his word. The pattern of Abraham and Sarah is one we recognize in our own lives. 

• First, we doubt God's word and God's character. 
• Second, we take matters into our own hands. 
• Third, we end up with a huge mess. 

What do we do when recognize this pattern? Meditating on the gospel is a good place to start.

The gospel is the good news about God's redemptive work in mankind through the person and work of Jesus Christ. In the cross, we see the trustworthiness of God on full display. God goes to amazing lengths - making sacrifices that you and I wouldn't dream of making - to keep His promise to rescue humanity. 

Because of this amazing news, a church-persecutor turned church-planter named Paul stated an amazing truth to the church in Rome. 

 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? - Romans 8:32

If we trust our covenant-keeping God to save us, we can also trust Him to keep us. I'm in a season of transition, where lots of things are uncertain. The great comfort in this is knowing that God's promises are certain. 

For all the promises of God find their Yes in him (Jesus Christ). That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory. II Corinthians 1:20

What about you? What is your best story about trusting God or trying to take matters into your own hands?

(Note: While I can affirm this song, I can not affirm the full catalog of either artist as consistent with scripture.)

Chris Lassiter is a husband and father of five beautiful kids. He has written for The News Leader, HipHopDX.com, VIBE, Hard Magazine, Rapzilla.com and Young Life Relationships. He is the author of You're Grounded, which you can read about here.

How I became just like Tim Tebow and three things I learned from it

No, I didn't become muscular or win a Heisman Trophy. I didn't engineer an overtime touchdown drive in the NFL playoffs. I can't claim part to any college football national championship.

But I can relate to Tim Tebow.

Not in the success, but in the struggle.

I became like Tebow when I became unemployed.

 

Lots of people are looking for employment,but here's what make Tebow and me the same. 

We may be jobless, but we're not hopeless.

For the past decade - longer in one case - I have worked bi-vocationally as a journalist and a youth worker. I loved both jobs. But, as a father of five, I surveyed what my wife and five needed from me, and I knew it was time for change.

The transition hasn't been an easy one.

The job search is taking longer than I would have hoped. Money has been tight. And the uncertainty has forced me to put other things in my life on hold until I figure it out. In the midst of the uncertainty, however, here's what I do know to be true. It's the same truth Tebow tweeted out after being released by the New England Patriots.

I don't know that the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. 

These are not circumstances I would choose, but the Lord has been faithful to teach some things along the way. Here are three.

•  God is God. I am not. During the times I have been discouraged, it has mainly been because I feel like God should have answered my prayer a certain way. I wanted God to deal on my terms, and I wanted to use prayer as a way to twist God's arm into doing what I wanted. While we could and should ask the Lord for our requests, the true purpose of prayer is to walk with the Lord to develop a friendship. I knew my heart was wrong, because when God didn't answer my prayers the way I wanted him to I lost the desire to pray. My motives were wrong from the beginning. 

•  God's timing is not my timing.  Being a husband and a father to five kids really reveals my impatience. I want my kids to finish their homework fast. I want everyone at the dinner table to finish their stories fast. I want God to open up a door for a job fast. I'm learning - slowly - that the Lord works things out in his own time and not when I am ready. 

• In uncertain times, there's still reason to be thankful.  I usually try to start my prayer time by reading Psalm 100, a chapter on thankfulness. Then I try to thank God for everything I can be thankful for that day. The chief of the those reasons is the gospel;  that Jesus Christ would exchange my rebellion toward God for His perfect standing before God. And there are have been countless reminders during this difficult season that God is still incredibly kind to me and my family. If I only remember one thing from this season of life, I hope that it's that God is good apart from all of my circumstances.

What about you? What is your Tebow moment? Where did you go from success to struggle? And what did you learn from it?

Chris Lassiter is a husband and father of five. He has written for The News Leader, VIBE, Young Life Relationships, Rapzilla.com and HipHopDX.com. He is the author of You're Grounded, which you can find here.