black history, theology, Kids' books

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

So ... When are We going to start Talking about Sex

"Sex is the cure. Sex is the problem." - one person's journal entry. 


Haven't blogged in a while. Other writing assignments have had me busy. However, two things have had me thinking about sex a lot lately (not that guys need any help in thinking about sex a lot). 

The first is obviously everyone is sharing their opinion on the book-turned-movie 50 Shades of Grey.  The second, coincidentally, is a book I just finished reading called God Loves Sex

The book is an exposition of the Song of Songs in the Bible. The plot is wrapped around a fictional Bible study group. It's co-written by counselor Dan B. Allender and Old Testament scholar Tremper Longman III.  

By way of application, the book has some points on masturbation and boundaries in dating that I would think need further explanation, but it's a book worth wrestling through. 

One of the main points in the book is the graphically erotic nature of the poetry found in the Song of Songs. When the man speak of his lover's "garden," he is not speaking of vegetables. And she speaks of his "member," she's not encouraging him to join a club. Yep, the book is that graphic. 

Here's where I'll put all my cards on the table. I'm not a church-basher. Never will be. I agree with pastor Art Azurdia when he said "Any problem I have with the church must be a lovers' quarrel." 

But here's the disconnect. How can the Bible be so graphic about a subject - a very important subject - and we as the church be so silent about it?  

One of the arguments of the book is that we've created a false holiness that doesn't factor in from the time we are born that we are sexual beings.  As Christians, we are sexual beings and God's holy people. And, as the book argues, this is not an either-or scenario. We are both. To discount either is to error biblically. 

Here are three devastating effects of the church's silence on the beauty and greatness of sex. 

1. God goes from the creator of sexuality to the killjoy of sexuality. If the Bible is to be believed - and I believe it - then God is the author of sex. God is a great gift-giver. But our silence about God's delight in creating us sexual beings has opened the door for Him to be portrayed as the enemy of sexual fulfillment. 

Many people reject the God of the Bible. That's sad to me. However, what is even sadder is when people think they are rejecting the God of the Bible based on false notions of the God of the Bible. One of these notions- that God is the killjoy and not the creator of sex - is the most frequent that I hear. 

2. Everyone keeps their sexual struggles in the dark. And we ALL have sexual struggles. I've heard some of my friends say they felt liberated sexually when they left the church. I understand part of this means that they were free to pursue sexuality on their own terms, but part of it also means that they were finally free to talk and dialogue and struggle. 

This freedom to talk and dialogue and struggle should happen inside of the church. I'm saddened by the thought of how much hurt has occurred by people feeling like the church isn't a safe place to discuss sexuality. I would love to hear my friends says they felt liberated sexually inside the church. 

3. Our faith doesn't seem to address real life issues. Think of the irony. Sex is God's idea, yet Christians are often pictured as prudish, embarrassed by sex or restricted sexually. If anyone should be leading discussions on sex - and enjoying sex - it should be the people who say their God created it. 

Many churches are already getting this right. My prayer is to see an increasing number join them. We need churches that preach the gospel consistently, that Christ alone is our only hope of salvation. Our merit before God is not based on anything else, including our sexual purity. 

And we need those churches, by way of application, to be safe places for people to wrestle through what it means to be both a sexual being and part of God's holy people. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on the whole topic of sexuality and the church or sexuality as depicted in 50 Shades of Grey

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His first book, You're Grounded, was published by Moody Publications last year. You can order the book here

No comments:

Post a Comment