Why I wrote a book

Friday, August 4, 2017


Sixteen thoughts on 16 years of marriage.

1. We've aged, and I still think my wife is the most beautiful woman on the planet Earth.

2. My wife and I are open with our problems we have. We're not trying to present a photoshopped perfect marriage to the people that know us. However, we are both wise enough to settle those differences in private. Never on social media.

3. You don't get married and stop dating. You get married so you can date forever. #NoteToSelf

4. A wise man once said, "Marriage isn't 50/50. It's 100/100."

5. Only humility will get you out of what pride got you into.

6.  Being a husband (along with being a father) is the hardest and most important thing I've ever done. This Art Azurdia quote explains why.

"A husband's life is to be characterized by a predetermined committment to always act in the highest interest and greatest good of his wife.... this love is to be an ongoing performance that could never be interrupted by any imperfection on her part." 

7.  The importance of the phrase "Will you forgive me?" can't be overstated in a marriage.


8.  We live modestly, and as a family of seven try to make dollars stretch. It's crazy that Emily and I got to spend the week leading up to our anniversary in the Bahamas, but that's what happened. How it happened could (and may be) another blog in itself, but we are extremely grateful.

9.  If we are too busy to invest in our marriage, we're too busy.

10. Why is marriage important? Because it shows two people love each other enough to commit to loving a person in the future and not just in the present. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. On August 4, 2001, I made a commitment to love the present and future version of Emily Lassiter. It's a promise that both of us, by God's grace, plan on honoring until we die.

11. We've received so much wise counsel from sitting down with others. There's no way to put a price tag on how valuable sitting with wise people has been for our marriage. We all can benefit from having people invested in seeing us grow in the important areas in life.

12. Evidently, I've had my fair share of second dinner helpings over the last 16 years.

13.  The church has been wrestling through unique marriage questions for the past decade. Pastor Bryan Loritts presents the most balanced, biblical teaching I've heard regarding some of these questions in a four-part series entitled The Gospel and My Gay Neighbor. Definitely worth a listen.

14. It may be another 16 years before we master the art of compromising on dinner plans.

15. We both brought a lot of brokenness and wrong thinking about relationships into our marriage, but God in His grace has seen us through!

16. I  have good friends whose marriages didn't make it. I hurt for them, but they are by no means second-class citizens to Christ. The gospel is that all who put their hope in Christ alone - whether single, married, divorced, widowed, etc. - are fully loved by God and have his smile.

Chris Lassiter is a Christ-follower, a husband to Emily (read her blog here), a father to five kids and a freelance writer for Young Life Relationships, HipHopDX.com, JamTheHype.com and other publications. His second book, Grits and the Grimels, can be purchased here

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